A Christmas Memory

A CHRISTMAS MEMORY

I remember the Christmas I was seven or maybe I was eight.
It was so long ago that I have forgotten the exact date.
But I have not forgotten the kindness of strangers.
Who showed me the love that came in the form of a child in a manger.
I can still hear and see my brother singing "We Three Kings".
While I felt in that moment the brush of angel wings.

I was feeling unloved and all alone.
Living in an overcrowded children's home.
Separated because of the rules from my brother and sister.
Allowed only to see them the day I could have a visitor.
For the most part there was no joy in my life that year.
Often I would cry myself to sleep crying silent tears.

What do you want for Christmas the House Mother would ask?
As together we performed one of the daily tasks.
Each time I would say a aqua blue dress with silver threads.
And hoped God would hear me when I prayed before going to bed.
Even though I thought he probably wouldn't because I was so bad.
After all, if I had been good I wouldn't be living in that home without a Mother or my Dad.

The House Mother kept asking if there was anything else.
Perhaps a doll like the one I had gently taken off the store shelf.
Only a aqua blue dress with silver threads I would say.
Always the same answer day after day.
The older girls told me it was the custom for the girls to get a dress which was new.
But they had lied to me so many times I didn't think what they were saying was true.

On Christmas morn Santa arrived with presents for all...
We all gathered together in the huge hall.
A rare occasion, the girls mingling with the boys.
As everyone happily opened presents and exclaimed over the toys.
Santa handed me a box with a beautiful doll.
And I thought right then and there I was going to bawl.

The older girls kept insisting that about getting new dresses they had not lied.
But all I wanted to do was to run and hide so I could cry.
At that moment I didn't care if I wasn't suppose to pout.
The women brought Santa more presents to give out.
When he called my name I took the box with dread.
Knowing, it would not be the aqua blue dress with silver threads.

The older girls rushed to their rooms to exchange hand-me- downs for new dresses.
Before it was time to take care of all of the guests.
Slowly, I unwrapped the box thinking I should be grateful for a dress which was new.
Even if that dress turned out to not even be the color blue.
With trembling hands I lifted the tissue and shining back at me was the glimmer of silver threads.
I knew then and know now that love is still alive...it is not dead.

Scarlet  ribbons covered the bed...
In the form of a  aqua blue dress with silver threads.

Please email me for permission to use this poem. Thank you!

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